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To make sure that their kids grow up to be happy and emotionally healthy? The only end goal is to get their kids into a top-ranked college: Harvard, MIT, Stanford, Yale, Princeton, etc.
They feel that going to a top-ranked college is the most surefire way to land a stable high-paying job and to eventually lead a financially secure future.First-generation immigrant parents sacrificed personally and financially to move to America, so they do not want their children to also suffer financially when they are adults.I think that the fatal flaw in this line of reasoning is that it does not take one crucial factor into consideration: the child himself—his abilities, disposition, personality, etc.If your child isn't very academically-inclined but you force him to study hard, do extracurricular activities, and jump through hoops that you construct just to polish up his college application, then what the hell happens AFTER he goes off to college and you are no longer around to nag him anymore?Many Asian parents put extreme pressures on their kids to excel academically, ignoring their kids' natural dispositions and emotional health.The dire negative consequences of such overbearing parenting, which are destructive to the parent-child relationship, far outweigh the perceived benefits, which are often non-existent.
I wrote most of this article while in an unusually bitter mood after hearing several stories about the parent-child conflicts that arise over the issue of Asian parents putting enormous pressures on their children to excel academically.Thus, some of the opinions in this article are gratuitously stereotypical and possibly offensive, but I resort to using hyperbolic language to elucidate my points (e.g., I often use sweeping generalizations, but I don't mean to imply that ALL Asian parents are the same).I am very thankful to my parents for not making me suffer through these distressful experiences as so many of my peers have, and I hope that this article will help Asian parents and teenagers to come to a healthy mutual understanding over expectations for academic achievement that will maximize happiness on both sides.(Note: I will use masculine pronouns such as 'he' and 'him' throughout this article, but obviously my opinions apply equally to females as well.) Asian parents, especially those who are first-generation immigrants (meaning those who are born in an Asian country and immigrate to America as adults), are notorious for putting intense pressures on their children to excel academically.They will enroll their children in after-school tutoring programs (known affectionately as ), force them to do extra homework on the weekends for reinforcement, prep for standardized tests many years prior to the testing date, and, to a lesser extent, prod their children to participate in extracurricular activities (e.g., tennis, violin, piano, community service) that they feel could boost their children's chances of gaining admissions into top-ranked colleges. To raise well-balanced, well-adjusted, mature, responsible, ethical young adults?To prepare their children to succeed in the professional world?