Dating out of boredom
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Subscribe to 22Words and things are gonna get a whole lot better for you. This guy asked a way-too-forward-and-personal question. The girl, understandably, shot him down, and what’s left is the desperate rantings of a guy digging himself deeper into a hole. In fact, "they often don't make it to the second date," Tschudi explains.
The answer, according to experts, lies in knowing what can reasonably be expected of the person who's been diagnosed with ADHD and creating strategies that ensure both partners avoid falling into a parent/child dynamic by default.
"Their dates often interpret the person with ADD's habit of looking around the room as a sign of boredom." Another problem people with ADHD face is the very real possibility of being passed over by potential dates due to unconventional lifestyle choices that result from learning to cope with the distractibility, restlessness and impulsivity that Tschudi identifies as being ADHD's core symptoms.
"Their dates see someone with a checkered job history.
Many people with ADHD get bored, so they job-hop; they get fired because they have difficulty handling details of the job," she explains.
Meanwhile, "their date might be thinking, 'I don't know if this person is dependable.'" But Tschudi emphasizes that "when these people find their niche and find something that suits them — something with creativity and room to grow — then they can do quite well." People with ADHD can also bring a lot of joy and excitement to their relationships.
"Being married to someone with it is never boring," says Erin Korey, Managing Partner and Chief Operations Officer of ADHDManagement.com, who has been with her partner, Jennifer Koretsky, author of , for 10 years and married for one year.
"[People with ADHD] are never satisfied with the status quo — they need a certain amount of excitement and newness in their lives at all times," Korey says."And that newness can come in many forms, from experimenting with a new dinner recipe to planning an exotic vacation.Sometimes, that need for excitement can drive you a little crazy!But suffice it to say, your marriage — unlike many marriages — will never be stuck in a rut." As fun and delightful as someone with ADHD can be, the challenges the disorder brings into a relationship can be very real — especially when it comes to getting everything done on time."My partner's ADD impacts our everyday life primarily in the realm of planning and time management," Korey says."Many experts have noted that [people with the disorder] experience time as 'now' and 'not now,' so it's really important to plan ahead.